Anyone who is a fan of sports knows that there are incredible amounts of douchebaggery in each sport, respectively. There's a variety of extreme douchebaggery, minor douchebaggery, and intermediate douchebaggery. Some athletes are just naturally gifted at being the best douche they can be. So, I've took it upon myself to dig deep and try to seperate the greatest individual douchebag in each sport. Without further ado....
NBA: Dwight Howard
I know, I know...Upset city! Most of you might consider Lebron James or Chris Bosh or D-Wade to be the biggest douches in the Association, but in my expert opinion, Dwight Howard has clearly overtaken the title from Lebron. Seriously, the way Howard toyed around in Orlando demanding to be traded then not wanting to be traded, only to want to be traded again, but not if it's to a team he doesn't like. So douchey. Then he goes to LA, sucks, puts blame on the coach and then leaves for Houston. Keep in mind he'll only play for a big city so he can "market" himself. Oh, and how could we forget that he has enough illegitimate children with about 10 different women that even Antonio Cromartie is like "C'mon Man!" Dwight Howard: The NBA's Most Valuable Douche.
Wild Card: Russell Westbrook
MLB: Alex Rodriguez
This one is pretty self explanatory. The guy has been busted for steroid use multiple times now and he refuses to accept his punishment, even though every other player linked to the same clinic he went to is serving their punishments. But nooooo not A-Rod. He's feels he's entitled to special treatment because he still thinks he's Baseball's golden boy. And if you don't think all of that makes him a douche, then maybe the fact he has a picture of himself as a centaur will.
Wild Card: Johnathan Papelbon
NFL: Terrell Suggs
I hate Terrell Suggs like Michael Scott hates Toby. I hate the way he talks, the things he says, the way he plays, everything. Now I'll give him credit...he's a good linebacker. But the way he carries himself is supremely douchey. He's always ripping opponents, especially the Pats. He'll talk out of his ass saying ridiculous things about Tom Brady and Belichick. He'll celebrate like a complete dingus after making any type of play on the field. But my least favorite thing about him is that he talks like he was taught English by some sort of mix between DMX, Ja Rule, and Rick Ross. Literally everything that spills out of his mouth is incoherent rambling....I can't believe Suggs didn't play college ball at "THE U"...that place harvests douchebags.
Wild Card: Philip Rivers
NHL: Brad Marchand
Yeah, that's right! Brad Marchand is the douchiest player in the NHL...and as a very casual fan of the Bruins, I love it. Bruins fans would be lying to themselves if they said Marchand wasn't a douchebag. I mean he's dirty, talks plenty of shit, and is talented enough to be relevant and hated by other teams. He also parties like a total assclown when he's not on the ice sticking his fingers in people's mouths. Sorry if this bothers some of you Bruins diehards, but facts are facts. Just embrace his douchebaggery and call it your own!
Wild Card: Sidney Crosby
Women's Sports: Serena Williams' Actual Douche
It would've been pretty arrogant of me to not include women's sports leagues too, you guys.
