What The Sox Playoff Roster Should Look Like.

So there's been a lot of speculation as to what the 25 man roster will look like for the Sox as they head into the postseason.  Luckily for the Red Sox, I have all the answers they need.  So without further ado, I give you the Skinny Sports ideal playoff roster...

Starting Pitchers
1. Jon Lester
2. John Lackey
3. Clay Buchholz
4. Jake Peavy

Lineup
1. Jacoby Ellsbury CF
2. Shane Victorino RF
3. Dustin Pedroia 2B
4. David Ortiz DH
5. Mike Napoli 1B
6. Jarrod Saltalamacchia C
7. Daniel Nava LF
8. Stephen Drew SS
9. Will Middlebrooks 3B

Bench
1. Johnny Gomes
2. David Ross
3. Xander Boegarts
4. Mike Carp
5. Quintin Berry

Bullpen
1. Koji Uehara
2. Junichi Tazawa
3. Ryan Dempster
4. Felix Doubront
5. Craig Breslow
6. Brandon Workman
7. Franklin Morales

There it is.  The most ideal playoff roster.  I'll begin explaining with the starting pitchers.  Lester has gott abe the number one, since he's been pitching like a true ace for the better parts of the last 2 months.  Lackey, although not as good as Buchholz, has a 2.50 home ERA compared to his 4.50 away ERA; which makes him a much smarter game 2 starter at Fenway rather than a game 3 starter elsewhere.

As for the lineup, I based that lineup assuming they are going up against a right handed pitcher.  Obviously Mike Carp, Johnny Gomes, and David Ross will routinely substitute in for guys like Nava, Salty, and Victorino.

The bullpen will be solidified with Uehara, Tazawa, and Workman in the late innings, although Workman has struggled as of late, which could mean Dempster will be called upon to fill the void.  Breslow and Morales will serve as lefty specialists.  Morales is a bit of a surprise pick, but I like his versatility of throwing gas and being able to work multiple innings.  Doubront and Dempster/Workman also give long relief support.

Now I think the biggest surprise here is the inclusion of Quintin Berry   I like Berry to beat out Jackie Bradley Jr. for the final spot, solely because of a possible pinch runner situation, which seems to always happen at some point during the MLB playoffs.  Berry is REAL fast.  Bradley, not so much.  The popular argument against having Berry on the roster is that Ellsbury's health is in question and so is Victorino's.  But the way I see it is simple...there's no chance Ellsbury isn;t healthy for the postseason.  He;s a Scott Boras client, and Scott Boras clients always *cough..cough* *wink..wink* find a way to be healthy and put up numbers when it really counts.  And is Bradley Jr. really that much better of a hitter right now than Berry?  In 4 AB's as a Red Sox, Berry is 3 for 4 with 4 runs scored and a stolen base that came in a critical moment during their run to win the division.  I mean, if Berry doesn't make the postseason roster as a possible pinch runner, then why did the Sox even sign him in the first place?  Don't forget how important a stolen base can be...

A steal can re-write history.

Are People Getting Excited About The Red Sox Yet?

Serious question. Is anyone else getting baseball fever over this Red Sox team like I am?  Or is September too early for the pink hats to rev the bandwagon engine?  Because if you're not watching Red Sox games right now you're a flat out loser jabroni.  Not a single player on this team is unlikable.  I mean, even John Lackey is getting standing ovations after pitching a good game.  Throw in the fact that the Sox have the most electifying man in The Show closing out every game, and you got yourself some high quality sports entertainment.  Baseball is creeping its way back to Boston whether the haters like it or not.  I can smell it in the air.  Each game feels more and more like a playoff game, and when October rolls around for the actual playoffs I can guarantee the Pink Hats will be out in full force.  I haven't felt this good about the Red Sox since probably 2007.  There's something special about the group of guys we have this year, and you'd be a fool to miss how it ends.

Biggest Douches in Each Major Sport.

Anyone who is a fan of sports knows that there are incredible amounts of douchebaggery in each sport, respectively.  There's a variety of extreme douchebaggery, minor douchebaggery, and intermediate douchebaggery.  Some athletes are just naturally gifted at being the best douche they can be.  So, I've took it upon myself to dig deep and try to seperate the greatest individual douchebag in each sport.  Without further ado....

NBA: Dwight Howard

I know, I know...Upset city!  Most of you might consider Lebron James or Chris Bosh or D-Wade to be the biggest douches in the Association, but in my expert opinion, Dwight Howard has clearly overtaken the title from Lebron.  Seriously, the way Howard toyed around in Orlando demanding to be traded then not wanting to be traded, only to want to be traded again, but not if it's to a team he doesn't like.  So douchey.  Then he goes to LA, sucks, puts blame on the coach and then leaves for Houston.  Keep in mind he'll only play for a big city so he can "market" himself.  Oh, and how could we forget that he has enough illegitimate children with about 10 different women that even Antonio Cromartie is like "C'mon Man!"  Dwight Howard: The NBA's Most Valuable Douche.

Wild Card: Russell Westbrook

MLB: Alex Rodriguez

This one is pretty self explanatory.  The guy has been busted for steroid use multiple times now and he refuses to accept his punishment, even though every other player linked to the same clinic he went to is serving their punishments.  But nooooo not A-Rod.  He's feels he's entitled to special treatment because he still thinks he's Baseball's golden boy.  And if you don't think all of that makes him a douche, then maybe the fact he has a picture of himself as a centaur will.

Wild Card: Johnathan Papelbon

NFL: Terrell Suggs

I hate Terrell Suggs like Michael Scott hates Toby.  I hate the way he talks, the things he says, the way he plays, everything.  Now I'll give him credit...he's a good linebacker.  But the way he carries himself is supremely douchey.  He's always ripping opponents, especially the Pats.  He'll talk out of his ass saying ridiculous things about Tom Brady and Belichick.  He'll celebrate like a complete dingus after making any type of play on the field.  But my least favorite thing about him is that he talks like he was taught English by some sort of mix between DMX, Ja Rule, and Rick Ross.  Literally everything that spills out of his mouth is incoherent rambling....I can't believe Suggs didn't play college ball at "THE U"...that place harvests douchebags.

Wild Card: Philip Rivers

NHL: Brad Marchand

Yeah, that's right! Brad Marchand is the douchiest player in the NHL...and as a very casual fan of the Bruins, I love it.  Bruins fans would be lying to themselves if they said Marchand wasn't a douchebag.  I mean he's dirty, talks plenty of shit, and is talented enough to be relevant and hated by other teams.  He also parties like a total assclown when he's not on the ice sticking his fingers in people's mouths. Sorry if this bothers some of you Bruins diehards, but facts are facts.  Just embrace his douchebaggery and call it your own!

Wild Card: Sidney Crosby


Women's Sports: Serena Williams' Actual Douche

It would've been pretty arrogant of me to not include women's sports leagues too, you guys.

Sox Trade Iglesias For Jake Peavy. Everyone Including Myself Proceeds to Panic.

I'll admit, when I first heard that this trade was going down I was sort of shell shocked.  After all, Iglesias burst into the big leagues this year flashing a ridiculous glove in the infield, and becoming a master of getting infield singles.  At one point he was hitting .400.  However, lately he's been in a supremely shitty rut.  In his last 18 games he's posted a .169 BA, .169 OBP, and has drawn 0 walks.  He's never been a good hitter his entire career, and it's likely he has finally fallen back down to Earth.  Yet still, he was already becoming a fan favorite amongst the die hard fans.

But with that said, let's take a breath and actually think big picture.  The Sox are getting Jake Peavy, a proven (yet sometime injury prone) veteran who is having a decent season for himself considering he plays for the White Sox.  He's exactly what the Sox need for a strong playoff run.  He'll also give them the flexibility of moving Brandon Workman to the bullpen to give them that right handed reliever that they needed.

Now you're probably sitting there saying to yourself "Well sure that's all fine and good, but they gave away a young SS for a veteran pitcher for probably only 2 years."  Sure that's a valid argument, but take a look at how strong the farm system is.  Xander Boegarts is gonna be a stud.  He's wanted by nearly every team in the legaue.  He's gonna be the shortstop next season, and might even be called up when rosters expand this season.  His hitting will make us soon forget Iglesias.

But what about 3B?  The Sox can fill the 3B spot with Middlebrooks (who's been playing well in AAA) this season, and convert him to 1B in future season.  They have Gavin Ceccini in the farm playing like a stud right now who projects to be the answer at 3B for years to come.

But most of all, let us not forget that the Sox were able to get Peavy without giving up any of their top prospects in the minors.  They can now groom these prospects to join the team in future seasons, or even use them in potential deals to bring in a franchise player such as Giancarlo Stanton.  And if there's a position the Sox need filled for a year or 2 while the young kids groom, they still have more money than almost any team to fill those needs.

So lets not panic and start saying absurd things like this team is trading away its farm like the 2011 team.  It's simply not true.  Hope everyone's ready for some baseball in October!

Celtics Trade Pierce and KG to Brooklyn.

These two men deserve to see their numbers in the rafters.

Well it's official.  I've been prepping for this day all offseason long.  I thought my heart could take it, but the news that Paul Pierce is no longer going to be suiting up for the Celtics is hitting me hard.  Pierce was, is, and always will be a Celtic.  I can't wait for the day he returns to us to watch his #34 get raised to the high heavens of the Garden, hanging majestically next to the likes of Bill Russell, Larry Bird, John Havlicek, and Kevin McHale.  The next 34 beers I drink will all be dedicated to The Captain, aaaaaaannnnd The Truth....Number 34...Pauuuuuullll Piieeerce!

Now lets analyze the trade.  The Celtics send Pierce, Garnett, and Terry to Brooklyn for Kris Humphries, Gerald Wallace, Reggie Evans, Kris Joseph, some European guy with a weird name, and FOUR first round picks.  I'll start by saying I like Humphries.  He gets unfairly bashed by NBA fans for no reason other than because his ex wife is Kim Kardashian.  The dude can play.  He's an above average rebounder and he can score with a respectable average.  Gerald Wallace on the other hand, I despise.  His contract is so absurd it makes Bobby Bonilla blush, and he's a punk who was always talking trash with KG.  Even if the Celtics keep him I'll never root for him.  Joseph will just be an end of the bench role player, and Evans is decent but I wouldn't be upset whether he stayed or left.  The draft picks are what makes this a fantastic deal for the C's.  It gives them the assets to either rebuild from the draft, or use the picks in trades to rebuild that way.  All in all, this was a deal that was a no brainer to make for the Celtics, although it had to have been very emotionally tough to make.

If you're feeling uneasy about the Celtics try not to panic too much.  Danny Ainge isn't done yet.  He still has to hire a coach, and I still think another trade will be made.  They have so many assets to use now, that anything could happen.  Josh Smith could be a likely candidate to join the team for next year, too.  It's gonna be one hell of an offseason.  Hope you're ready.

Now excuse me as I go cry my balls off and lay in the fetal position under my Paul Pierce poster.

Bruins Lose A Heartbreaker.

Hell of a season and playoff run by this Bruins team.  They gave the city of Boston something to root for when the city needed it most.  It's never easy watching your team go down with the championship on the line, but you've gotta be proud of what this team accomplished.  Plus, with a young talented foundation this is going to be a fun and exciting team to watch for years to come.  As for what to do now as a Boston sports fan? Red Sox are in first place in the best division in baseball.  And the Patriots kick off training camp in a few weeks.  Never a dull moment in this city.

P.S. Hats off to Chicago. Great city. Great team. Beat us fair and square.

Good Week For Aaron Hernandez...

So unless you've been living under a rock for the past couple of days, you've probably heard about how Aaron Hernandez is a possible suspect in a homicide.  You've also probably heard about him currenly being sued for allegedly shooting a guy in the face at a Miami strip club.  It seems like every new breaking story surrounding the Patriots is bad.  It's definitely been a horrible offseason.  Here's how the offseason has basically gone so far: Pats lose AFC Championship. Welker signs with Denver. Pats trade out of first round. Dennard sentenced to month in jail. Gronk dances on a club stage and Rock Bottom's his friend.  Gronk breaks his arm. Gronk has surgery. Gronk has another surgery. Gronk has another surgery. Gronk finds out he needs back surgery. Pats sign Tim Tebow. Hernandez starts shooting everyone.

So that's basically the type of news Patriot fans have had to sit through.  It's gotten to the point where people are trying to convince themselves that Jake Ballard is going to come in and be one of the best tight ends in the league.  He's good but he isn't Gronk or Hernandez.

As far as the Hernandez situation goes, I'm really starting to think he may have actually killed this guy in North Attleboro. Obviously I hope I'm dead wrong, but the news reports are not promising.  I think at the very least Hernandez knows the person who killed this guy.  Fortunately I'm usually wrong in situations like this.

P.S: This is what happens when you smoke weed in college.  No wonder Hernandez fell to the 4th round.

Holy Shit The Pats Signed Tebow.

What just happened? Is this still planet Earth? Tim Tebow is really a Patriot? Holy shit. I'm trying to think of a reason why they would sign him and I can't think of any.  As far as I know he can't play cornerback or rush the passer, so I'm really confused.  Maybe he'll be a goal line fullback? Tight end? Motivational speaker? Who knows.  All I know is that the Patriots just swept the spotlight from underneath the Bruins and ESPN is going to be insufferable between Tebow and Lebron all month.

I'm truly at a loss for words.

Stanley Cup Preview

Seriously how glorious is it that the Blackhawks are the favorite?  It's not often a team wins the Stanley Cup as an underdog and then returns two seasons later, only to still be an underdog.  The Bruins have gotta be salivating at the opportunity to continue showing the world just how good they are.  Seriously, ever since the epic comeback against the Maple Leafs this team has been on cruise control just plowing through everything in its path.  Rangers? Laughable. Penguins? They looked like real life Penguins trying to play hockey.  Now the B's try to make the Blackhawks look like Indians trying to play hockey.

There's two big story-lines in this series.  The first being the fact it's the first time since 1979 (I think) that two original six teams have faced off against each other.  The other being, of course, the impending conclusion to a historic playoff run in a city that is still recovering from a horrible tragedy.  I'm not expecting this series to be nearly as easy as the last two were, but I'm confident the Bruins will win and I like them to do it in 6 games.  David Krejci will be awarded the Conn Smythe Trophy and Zdeno Chara will be the first to hoist the Cup in front of 35,000 screaming massholes at the Gahden.  And when it's all said and done, Boylston Street will be shut down yet again, with a duckboat caravan holding the team that restored the city.  Just like Barry Obama had predicted.

Skip video to about 1:25. Or just be a Patriot and watch it all.

Kyle Love Released After Being Diagnosed With Diabeetus.

Coach Belichick shows no mercy. Oh, you wanna get diabeetus?  Go play for the Jets.  Obviously this decision is ruthless, but with Brady getting older the Pats can't be dicking around on defense with insulin dependent situational down linemen.  Happy trails, Kyle!


On a more serious note, Kyle, if you're reading this, you should call 866-6-LIBERTY.

Bruins Beat Leafs In Thrilling Game 7

This is a late post and the first in a long time, but hey, the groceries don't stock themselves.  But anyway, last night's game 7 OT win was incredible.  I seriously never fully enjoy watching hockey, but that game gave me pure chills of joy.  For me, it wasn't just about hockey.  It was about why people like me dedicate their lives to just eating, breathing, and bleeding sports.  It's comebacks like that that makes sports great.  You just never know what can happen.  I believe a great man once said, "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!"

Looking ahead, I can't see how this doesn't light a fire under every Bruins player's ass.  Especially when your going up against the city's biggest rival in New York.  Boston NEEDS to win this series.  They have to prove they weren't just a one year wonder in 2011.  They have to give Boston another team to care about outside of the Red Sox.  I'm gonna ride this Bruins bandwagon so hard in these next few weeks.  Because if they can make hockey games as exciting as last night, I'll be needing a few extra boxes of Kleenex to cleanup my sportsgasms.

Put your hard hats on, grab your hammer and nails, cause we goin' to work. Lez do it!

Just an Incredible Night For Boston Sports.

Celtics win! Bruins win! Sox win! All in impressive fashion.  I'll hit on the Celts first. I admit I had my doubts about this game, but they just continued to prove to me how much pride and grit they really play with.  The amount of bricks Carmelo threw up would give Larry Lucchino a wet dream.  JR Smith backed his trash talk up with a tremendous 3-14 from the field. Well done, JR! Oh, and the Knicks wearing all black before the game for the "Celtics funeral" was comedy of the highest order.  We'll see you back in Boston.  Now for the Bruins.  The B's stumbled their way into the playoffs to say the least, but started out Game 1 on fire.  Totally different team out there.  They looked like a team hungry for another Cup.  If they can keep playing like this I don't see how Toronto stands a chance.  Too soft of a team, and Kessel can't handle Boston.

Capping of the orgasmic night was the Red Sox, who, like the Bruins, steamrolled Toronto.  Bucholz is the best pitcher in baseball right now, and its not even worth arguing.  His ERA is 1.01 through 6 starts. Nuff said.  And you can't forget Mike Napoli.  He's an absolute savage.  Watching him launch home runs is like watching old clips of atomic bombs and mortar rounds being dropped on Hiroshima on the History Channel. All in all a wonderful evening for the great fans of Boston sports.  Now cue the music!

It Wasn't Pretty, But The Celtics Are Headed Back to New York.

All it took was 4 games, a time machine for Paul Pierce, an OT, and some luck, but the Celtics finally won a playoff game.  Up 19 at half, you knew the Celtics were doomed to flush that lead down the toilet.  And they did.  In typical Celtics fashion.  Now, I don't want to sound like a home town honk, but IF the Celtics could somehow escape Game 5 with a victory, this series will go 7.  And Game 7 will be an all time classic for the ages.  It's unlikely, but the Celtics are just pesky enough to do it.  Strap on your seatbelts, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

P.S. Only team getting swept in Boston this weekend is the Houston Astros.  That team SUCKS.

P.P.S. Jason Terry has been pretty bad all year, but he put the game away tonight. Round of applause.

First Round NFL Mock Draft. Skinny Sports Edition.

The NFL draft's first round is tonight, and I'll be seeing every pick while popping champagne VIP bad-boy style with Robert Kraft at the Patriots Draft Party.  So since I'll be busy at Gillette tonight, I'll leave you with the Skinny Sports expert first round mock.

1. KC Chiefs: Luke Joekel (OT- Texas A&M)
Popular pick at number 1.  KC needs as QB but I don't see them gambling on one in this draft class.  Might as well take a real good tackle and draft a QB in next year's deeper draft.
2. Jacksonville Jaguars: Geno Smith (QB- WVU)
Jacksonville, like KC, needs help in a lot of areas.  But rather than draft a real good O-lineman, I have them reaching for Geno.  Blaine Gabbert was drafted by previous ownership, and this new guy Shad Khan could very well make a pick like this.  In conclusion, Jacksonville will still suck.
3. Oakland Raiders: Ezekial Ansah (DE- BYU)
Nobody has been shooting up draft boards like Ansah.  He's a big, fast guy from the African Sahara who didn't even know what football was when he started at BYU.  I could see this guy being the best player drafted. So much potential, and obviously the Raiders could use some help. Everywhere.
4. Philadelphia Eagles: Eric Fisher (OT- Central Michigan)
If Chip Kelly is as smart as people say he is then this is who he'll pick.  Michael Vick was under pressure or on his ass nearly every play last season, and if Kelly has any plans to implement Dennis Dixon into the offense then he's gonna need protection.  Fisher is a beast and could easily go #1.
5. Detrot Lions: Lane Johnson (OT- Oklahoma)
The Lions could definitely take a pass rusher here, but Johnson is the last potentially elite tackle in the draft, and is a safe pick.  It's also an area of need.  Stafford is coming off of a down year, and is still injury prone.
6. Cleveland Browns: Dee Milliner (CB- Alabama)
Milliner is the best CB in the draft and the Browns could really use a good compliment on the other side of the field to Joe Haden.  Geno Smith will be intriguing if he's still available, but I have the Jaguars making that mistake.
7. Arizona Cardinals: Johnathan Cooper (OG- UNC)
Cooper is projected as the best guard in the draft, and Arizona has shown interest in him.  O-line is a big need for Arizona so I feel this is a safe bet.  Yeah, they need a QB but they never pull the trigger on draftinf one, and this year will be no different.
8. Buffalo Bills: Ryan Nassib (QB- Syracuse)
And with the dumbest pick in the draft, the Buffalo Bills select...Ryan Nassib! Look, the Bills need a QB and Nassib is an upstate New York guy.  Put two and two together and you got yourself a dumb pick.  They say he's got an incredible arm though.
9. New York Jets: Dion Jordan (OLB- Oregon)
Rex Ryan needs a super athletic edge rusher on defense and that's exactly what Jordan is.  This would be a fantastic pick for the Jets at #9 as a lot of mock drafts have Jordan going in the top 7.
10. Tennessee Titans: Sharriff Floyd (DT- Florida)
The Titans would be thrilled if Floyd fell tot hem at #10.  My reasoning for him falling to 10 is simple....it's just how it played out when I decided to write this mock.  But DT is most likely the route Tennessee will take. If Floyd is gone, I see them taking Sheldon Richardson.
11. San Diego Chargers: Star Lotulelei (DT- Utah)
Honestly, I think the Chargers will trade out of this pick to get one of the top tackles, but if they stay at #11 I see them taking the best available.  Lotulelei would fit their 3-4 scheme as a nosetackle and has potential to be a Wilfork esq. player.
12. Miami Dolphins: Chance Warmack (OG- Alabama)
Miami signed Mike Wallace, but lose Jake Long this offseason.  If they want to make the msot of Wallace, they're gonna need to take pressure off of Ryan Tannehill.  Warmack will solidify the interior line.
13. New York Jets: Tavon Austin (WR- WVU)
This pick will have Jets fans going wild with excitement.  Especially after drafting Dion Jordan.  The Jets have needed a weapon on offense that defenses would fear.  Austin could potentially be a middle of the field nightmare for any defense.  That is, of course, if Sanchez can get him the ball.
14. Carolina Panthers: Sheldon Richardson (DT- Missouri)
This pick is just one of those take the best player available at your top position of need picks.  Simple. And smart.
15. New Orleans Saints: Barkevious Mingo (OLB- LSU)
Mingo is a freak athlete and an incredible edge rush talent.  He also has a close tie with southern Louisiana as he went to LSU.  I think this is a good fit for both the player and the team.
16. St. Louis Rams: Kenny Vaccaro (S- Texas)
This isn't a surprising or sexy pick.  Vaccaro is the projected top safety in this class, and the Rams are in desperate need of a safety.  Tavon Austin has been linked to this pick but they way I have it play out, Vaccaro is the pick.
17. Pittsburgh Steelers: Jarvis Jones (OLB- Georgia)
Pittsburgh could also take a tight end here, but I think Jones would be a better pick.  The Steelers defense has been aging, and now that James Harrison is gone, Jones could come in and really bring some fresh energy and versatility to a transitioning defense.  He's got character issues, but the talent is tough to pass up.
18. Dallas Cowboys: Sylvester Williams (DT- UNC)
The Cowboys 2 top DT's are Jay Ratliff and Jason Hatcher.  Ratliff is 31 years old and Hatcher is 30.  Drafting a DT would be a good move for Dallas where Williams can add depth to a very thin interior defensive front.
19. New York Giants: Tyler Eifert (TE- Notre Dame)
The Giants are a good team with not many huge holes to fill.  However, with the loss of Martellus Bennett, Eifert can come in and become a new distraction for defenses to mull over.  He's bigger than almost all defenders he'll play against, and he has the versatility to line up anywhere.  This is a great pick for the Giants, and it makes me sick to think about it.
20. Chicago Bears: Manti Te'o (LB- Notre Dame)
Chicago is the perfect fit for Te'o.  He'll be playing with veterans such as Julius Peppers and Lance Briggs to help guide him, and he'll be put into a comfortable system that knows how to use a middle linebacker.  The whole scandal that comes with drafting Te'o will disappear once he makes an impact play for the Bears.
21. Cincinnati Bengals: DJ Fluker (OT- Alabama)
I see the Bengals using this pick to draft a tackle to improve the O-line after losing Andre Smith.  They're going to be looking to create some holes to help a poor running attack.  With two second round picks, I think they'll address their running back need.
22. St. Louis Rams: Cordarrelle Patterson (WR- Tennessee)
Patterson is big, tall, and has incredible hands and quickness.  His major question mark is his NFL route running ability, but the potential far outweighs his cons.  Sam Bradford really needs a guy like Patterson.  His career as a Ram may depend on it.
23. Minnesota Vikings: Xavier Rhodes (CB- FSU)
With the loss of Antoine Winfield, Rhodes would be a nice replacement.  Minnesota likes big cornerbacks, and Rhodes is the biggest on the board.  Playing in an already solid defense with an above average pass rush could help him have a very good rookie year.
24. Indianapolis Colts: DJ Hayden (CB- Houston)
Indy made some moves in the front of their defense, but having another cornerback in the back end could help.  Hayden is physical and can play both press and off coverage.  Throw him in the mix with Vontae Davis and Greg Toler, and the Colts could have a legitimate defensive backfield.
25. Minnesota Vikings: DeAndre Hopkins (WR- Clemson)
Hopkins is a great downfield threat that will copliment Greg Jennings' underneath game nicely.  Minnesota could use as many weapons as they can get for Christian Ponder.  Hopkins won't replace Percy Harvin, but he'll definitely add a different element.
26. Green Bay Packers: Jonathan Cyprien (S- Florida International)
Green Bay is one of those teams that's real hard to predict what they'll do int he draft.  But their secondary was very bad last season, and Cyprien has tremendous range and hits like a bulldozer.  I'd imagine the Packers would be happy to draft him here.
27. Houston Texans: Robert Woods (WR- USC)
Woods is smart and played in an NFL style offense at USC.  He's also quick and has good route running ability.  Playing opposite of Andre Johnson should really benefit the young wideout, and the Texans will hope he can become Johnson's future replacement.
28. Denver Broncos: Tank Carradine (DE- FSU)
Tank is rehabbing from an ACL injury he suffered early in the college season, but he is said to be way ahead of schedule.  Once thought of as a top 15 pick, he would compliment Von Miller on the opposite side of the defense, and make the Broncos better than they already appear to be.  He has the potential to be a pass rushing nightmare for teams.
29. New England Patriots: Blidi-Wreh Wilson (CB- UConn)
This pick is a typical Patriots pick.  Someone who the casual fan has never heard of.  Isn't a big name or sexy pick at all.  People will call the sports radio stations ranting and raving about another stupid pick by Belichick.  But Wilson is a good corner.  He played locally, so the Pats should have in-depth scouting on him, and they have shown interest in him during UConn's pro day.  I'd personally like to see a receiver taken, but the Pats may be able to hold off until a later round.  There's pretty good depth at WR in this draft.  Keep an eye on Justin Hunter and Aaron Dobson if they do choose to get a WR this year.
30. Atlanta Falcons: Margus Hunt (DE- SMU)
Hunt is sort of a risky pick because of his age (25) and his newness to the game.  He's a raw athlete with size, versatility and strength that'll give any NFL scout a wet dream, but his lack of experiance could shy teams away.  If I'm picking for the Falcons, though, I'd take a chance on him because his ceiling is too high.
31. San Francisco 49ers: Matt Elam (S- Florida)
The Niners really have no big area of need, and they have 13 picks in the draft.  I could see them taking Elam in the first since Dashon Goldson signed with Tampa.  I'm a huge fan of Elam and I wish the Pats would take him, but I just don't think it'll happen.  One can hope though.
32. Baltimore Ravens: Eric Reid (S- LSU)
Im predicting this solely on the fact that I think it would be great to replace Reed with Reid at safety.  Same last name.  Same initials. Same position.

So there you have it.  The Skinny Sports 2013 First Round Mock Draft!  Here's to hoping it's not as big a failure as the Skinny Sports March Madness Bracket.

Now excuse me as I get ready for the Patriots offical draft party.  High profile sports bloggers only, you guys.

Weighing In On The Marathon Bombings.

It's been too long since the last blog has been posted, and for that I apologize.  But I'll be damned if a tragic event such as this gets ignored by Skinny Sports.  First off, how awesome is the city of Boston?  Watching footage of policemen, EMT's, fireman, volunteers, bystanders, and runners all running toward the chaos to help save lives was truly inspirational.  Boston is a big city with a small town feel to it, and the reaction by our citizens in the wake of a catastrophe shows just how strong and courageous we are.  Steven Colbert hit the nail on the head when he said "these Boston people are so tough that they run 26 miles on their day off until their nipples become raw...and they do it for fun."  Well said, Steven! Don't mess with Boston.

On a more sports related note, these next coming weeks are going to be truly remarkable.  There will be more emotion pouring through the Garden for tonights Bruins game than I think ever has.  Or how about this coming weekend's Red Sox games?  Fenway is less than 1.5 miles from Boylston St. so you know it's going to be on hell of a series.  And let's not forget the impending Celtics-Knicks playoff series.  Boston vs. New York.  The Knicks are arguably the hottest team in the NBA right now, and the Celtics are arguably the most prideful team in all of sports.  I could be completely wrong, but I think this series is going to be a classic where America rallies around the Celtics.  Only in Boston could 3 sports teams restore hope and happiness throughout an entire community.  

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm proud to call Boston my home.  Best damn city on the face of the Earth and I'll never leave.  America! #BostonStrong

Would The Honey Badger Be A Good Fit For The Patriots?

Tyrann Mathieu a.k.a The Honey Badger is definitely going to be an interesting story-line to follow in the upcoming NFL draft.  The LSU cornerback was a human highlight reel just 2 years ago before being kicked off the team for a "marijuana addiction". Seriously, who gets addicted to pot?  Is that even possible?  The whole story seemed a bit odd and/or strange, but it is what it is.  Anyway, he has supposedly gone to rehab to get over his long and excruciating battle with cannabis, and has had an impressive NFL combine.  Since defensive back is always an area of need for the Pats, the Honey Badger has been linked to possibly being drafted by them.  As of today, Mel Kiper is projecting the Patriots to draft Mathieu with their 2nd round pick.  If you're wondering who he projects them drafting in round 1, it's Justin Hunter, who Skinny Sports profiled as a Patriots draft choice over a month ago.  Skinny Sports, always a step ahead of the game.  But I digress.

Maybe I'm a bit of a pessimist, but the 2nd round just seems too high (no pun intended) to be drafting Tyrann Mathieu.  He's 5'8 185lbs, which puts him at exactly the average weight and below the average height for NFL cornerbacks.  So would he make for a legit outside corner?  Who knows.  With that size I think it would be more realistic to project him as a slot corner/nickel.  The guy definitely has tons of talent and his potential is through the roof, but I'd like to see the Pats see if they can wait it out til round 3 to draft him.  There's other cornerbacks like Blidi-Wreh Wilson, Johnathan Banks, and Robert Alford could all still be available for the second round, and I think these guys would be better than Mathieu, especially Wilson and Alford.

Here's the highlight reel.  Watch it after a few bong rips for the full effect.

Reaction to Red Sox Opening Day 2013

1-0 bitches! Sox win and yanks lose.  Hopefully that's a trend we see more of this season.  How awesome was it to see Jackie Bradley Jr. make an impact in his first ever big league game?  This kid is the real deal.  He plays his ass off for every pitch of the game, which looks to be the big difference between this years team and last years.  Players like Johnny Gomes, Shane Victorino, Pedroia, Bradley, Middlebrooks, and even the entire bullpen staff all play every pitch as if their career depends on it.  Take Gomes for example.  He scored the 7th or 8th run of the game today in the 9th inning and he was celebrating like he just won the World Series.  Even the dugout was cheering and pumping their fists.  I know it only game 1 of a 162 game season, but I just get the feeling that the Red Sox are going to be a gritty, hard hustling team that will be very easy to root for.

As a side note, how bad are the Yankees going to be?  That lineup today was outrageous.  They had not 1 but 2 Francisco's in the lineup. Not good.  And to think they are relying on a 57 year old Derek Jeter and a deteriorating Mark Teixiera to come back and save the team? Yikes! I bet they come in last in the AL East. HA-HA what a bunch of losers!

Wait...The Red Sox Lowered Prices?

Just for the month of April!...But seriously, I never thought I'd see the day where the Red Sox actually lowered the price of anything.  $5 beers for the entire month of April? Two for one hot dogs? $2 hot chocolates? Yes please.  Fenway hasn't seen prices this low since Ted Williams was dropping atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  But there is reason to be atleast a little skeptical.  The beer will most likely be 75% water.  News will break in mid-July that the hot dogs served in April were made of horse meat, and the hot chocolate was sewage.  But hey, the kids eat free!

March Madness: Skinny Sports Edition

As all of you probably remember, I absolutely destroyed last year's NCAA tournament.  Won $1000 like it was nothing.  This year should be no different.  I turned on Sportcenter the other day to maybe get some advice before making my picks, and this is what I see:

I shouldn't have been surprised that ESPN would allow this type of stupidity, but I was.  So, with no help at all I just said "fuck it, I'm gonna put my Phd in bracketology to good use".  And after taking 5 minutes to fill my bracket out, I was left with this motherfucking marvel:

I know it's sort of blurry and not aligned on the page correctly, but I'm a bracketologist, not some computer whiz.  But nonetheless, this bracket is blazing hot.  Got Davidson over Marquette. Butler in the Elite 8.  Montana upsetting Syracuse? Yup! Sure, I got a Final Four with solid teams, but atleast I didn't take all the 1 seeds like a wimp.

Thank me later.

Pats Sign Danny Amendola to 5 Years $31 Million.

Well that was fast.  Wes Welker signs with Denver and an hour later the Patriots replace him with Danny Amendola.  This signing goes to show the Patriots never had any intention on signing Welker back.  They moved on and went with a younger option.  There's still spots to fill on this offense but atleast Amendola gives them flexibility and has a lot of potential to make an impact, especially with Brady throwing him the ball.

It's been one hell of a day.  Between Welker leaving, Amendola signing, and a new Pope being elected I'm surprised the internet still works.

Welker Signs With Denver. Now What?

Wow. This all feels so incredibly wrong and dirty.  The Patriots will no longer have #83 lining up in the slot next season.  Before I get into it I just want to congratulate Wes on getting paid.  He deserved it.  He deserves nothing short of a standing ovation in his return to New England.  With that being said, what the fuck is up with the Pats?  Welker's contract with Denver is for 2 years 12 million.  So you're telling me the Pats weren't willing to match that?  Pathetic. This is Wes Welker we're talking about. Outside of Brady, this guy has been the staple of the franchise. I know the Pats are conservative in terms of paying players but this just seems like they're being unreasonably cheap.

Obviously, I'm not happy about this news.  But I don't think the Pats are screwed.  Aaron Hernandez is being paid wide receiver money and you can expect him to become the "slot receiver".  We still have Gronk, Brady, and Ridley.  The real question marks come on the outside.  Earlier reports had Lloyd being cut, but with Welker leaving it could make the Pats rethink bringing Brandon back.  If they don't bring him back they'd have to fill the void.  Could it be the draft? Greg Jennings is still available but he's gonna probably demand more money than what Welker got.  For Julian Edelman, I think its fair to assume he'll be back, especially with Welker leaving.  I've heard some people say Edelman could play opposite another outside receiver, but I just don't see that working.  He seems more like a slot guy to compliment Hernandez.

Danny Amendola is the hot name being thrown around.  Again, he's the same size as Edelman, so playing on the outside probably wouldn't be the best spot for him.  The team needs atleast one outside receiver with size and physicality.  It's gonna be exciting and stressful to watch what the Patriots do these next few days and weeks.  If it were up to me, I'd focus on getting that outside WR threat.  Whatever they do, I hope it isn't to bring in the Reche Caldwell's and Doug Gabriels of the world like they did in 2006.  Tom Brady can't afford that at this stage of his career.

The Problem with Sportscenter Top 10 Plays

I'm sick and tired of seeing Sportscenter get the number one top play wrong.  It's always the same.  Take todays top play as an example.  Deandre Jordan dunked an alley oop against the Detroit Pistons point guard.  Please, explain to me how it's exciting to see a giant dunk over a smurf.  C'mon people!  I mean, I don't even like hockey much, but did you see Patrick Kane's shootout goal the other night?  It was way more impressive than watching Lebron James throw down a fast break dunk or seeing anyone on the Los Angeles Clippers complete an alley oop.  ESPN is just the absolute worst.  They can't even get the "Not Top 10" right.  Take for instance a few weeks ago when that snow mobiler in the X-games tried to pull off a double backflip and killed himself.  Obviously the first thing you think when it happens is "Damn, automatic number one Not Top Play" but no.  It didn't even crack the top 10.  I think it was beat out by an Italian Sausage beating a Kielbasa in a race at a Milwaukee Brewers spring training game.  Sportscenter really needs to get their priorities straight.  Or else Skinny Sports just might replace them as "the worldwide leader in sports."

Patriots Draft Option: Darius Slay (CB- Miss St.)

Drafting cornerbacks hasn't exactly worked out well for the Pats recently, but it's definitely a possible position of need in this years draft.  If Talib leaves via free agency and Dennard ends up having to miss time, there are going to be huge holes to fill at the position.  Darius Slay has been rising on draft boards and has had a great combine thus far.  If you haven't heard of him you've probably heard of his college teammate Johnathan Banks.  Banks played opposite of Slay at cornerback for Mississippi State and had the better college career and is the sexier name.  But a poor combine and doubt as to whether he could be a good pro player has caused his stock to fall.  Scouts have said they believe Slay has more pro potential but Banks would be the safe pick.  Also, recent rumors have stated that the Pats have expressed interest in drafting Johnathan Banks in the first round.

Well guess what...Skinny Sports doesn't fall for these typical Patriots booby traps.  The Patriots publicly expressing interest in Banks is nothing more than a smokescreen.  Belichick wants the attention off of Darius Slay so that he can draft him.  Slay, who stands at 6'0 192 has good size to be physical in the pros, and has exceptional speed as he ran a 4.3 40.  If cornerback is the direction the Pats want to go in the first or second rounds, I see Slay as being a very likely candidate to be taken, as he is still being projected to be in the 25-50 pick area.

Two other cornerbacks to keep on your radar: Xavier Rhodes (Florida St.), Blidi Wreh-Wilson (UConn)

Should We Be Worried About Tyler Seguin?

Everybody relax!  I'm not trying to rile up the Pink Hats or create any controversy.  But as an extremely casual Bruins fan, I have to ask...What's the deal with Seguin?  I still think the Bruins are arguably the best team in the East and I think they're gonna be in the Eastern Conference Finals, but it's mostly because of how talented the team is.  Tyler Seguin is in his third year.  He was drafted second overall in the draft.  So, wouldn't you think he would be developed into the prolific scorer that the team expects him to be?  You see how talented he is when the B's go to shootouts, but it doesn't seem to translate in regulation.  I personally feel like he needs to show more competitiveness and grit.  How many times do we need to see him pass the puck away?  Why doesn't he battle for the puck along the boards and show that he has some fight in him?  Is Claude Juilen's system holding him back?  I honestly don't know, but I think these questions are legit. I will say, however, that I like the Bruins with Seguin more than I like them without Seguin.  But can we just admit that so far Tyler Seguin's play hasn't justified all of the love and admiration that a lot of fans give him?

Patriots Draft Option: Justin Hunter (WR-Tennessee)

As we previewed a week ago, the Pats could be looking to draft a wide receiver, and now that Brandon Lloyd looks to be on his way out, the Pats should be looking for an outside threat.  I profiled Tavon Austin last week, but he is strictly a slot receiver.  Justin Hunter is 6'4 196.  He just recently ran an official 4.44 40 time.  He's big, fast, and freakishly athletic.  For the people who want the Pats to have a guy who can "stretch the field", then Hunter is the guy you'll want the team to draft.  This guy is more than capable of testing safeties deep down the middle of the field, and his height gives him a huge advantage in jump balls.

Now, you may be wondering why a guy with this skill set would even be available late int he first round or possibly the second round.  Well, this draft has some pretty good receivers.  Tavon Austin's stock is rising after having an impressive combine.  Also, Justin Hunter isn't even considered to be the best wide receiver from Tennessee in the draft.  His college teammate Cordarrelle Patterson is widely considered the top wideout in the draft this year.  I would have profiled Patterson, however I just don't see him lasting long enough in the draft for the Pats to pick him.

Needless to say, the Pats don't have a strong track record of taking receivers in the first round.  Selecting Hunter would require them to tinker their drafting philosophy, so it would be surprising to see them do it.  But if ever there was a year to draft a receiver in the first round, this might be it.  I could see Justin Hunter sneakily being the best overall receiver drafted.  Big receiver like that don't grow on trees.

Cue the highlight reel!

Rondo Loses in Connect 4 to 12 Year Old...Promptly Crushes The Kid 5 Straight Times.

NESN- Rajon Rondo has a lot of free time these days. While he waits for the torn ACL in his right knee to heal, the Celtics point guard is chasing his second love: demolishing kids at board games. Rondo is a maniacal Connect Four player, according to a profile by Lee Jenkins in this week’s Sports Illustrated, as an unfortunate child in Dorchester, Mass., discovered. The story relays an account of Rondo meeting up with some kids at the Blue Hill Boys & Girls Club and taking on all comers in his favorite board game. One young competitor named Olissa, 12, pulled the ultimate no-no and actually beat Rondo at his own game. Rondo did not take it well. “I can’t believe it,” Rondo told Jenkins. “But did you notice I played the guy five more times and won them all? I had to show him, ‘You beat me, I’ll beat the [expletive] out of you.’” Uh, OK. That “guy” was a 12-year-old kid, and Rondo felt the need to “beat the [expletive]” out of him in a game made for 12-year-old kids. Winner … Rondo?

It's a move like this that makes me even more happy that the Celtics didn't trade Rondo for that 7 foot tall tomato can in Los Angeles.  This is the type of competetiveness you want in your All Star point guard.  I hate when people just let kids win at everything.  Kids need to learn how to lose rather than grow up being pampered wusses.  And of course NESN is acting all high and mighty basically saying "Yeah, way to go Rondo, way to be a classy guy."  Well you know what, NESN, why don't you go fuck yourselves and continue airing Dennis and Callahan every morning.  Nice of you blowhards to leave out the part about Rondo donating tons of gifts and money to the Boys and Girls Club.  Just trying to stir up a bunch of garbage for Rondo haters to get riled up about.  What is this, amateur hour?  The bottomline message for kids to take away from this is if you're gonna beat an adult at a board game, you better be prepared to repeatedly get the fuck beat out of you the next time you play.  Sometimes you get lucky, kid.  Don't go around thinking your shit don't stink.

And lets be real for a second.  You know this kid went into school the next day and bragged to his friends that Rajon Rondo destroyed him in Connect 4.  I know I would.

P.S:  No way "Olissa" is a real boys name, right?  Must be a typo?

Tom Brady Gets Extended Until He's 40

Looks like TFB is officially gonna be a Patriot for life.  Obviously this is a smart move by the Pats.  They lock down Brady to playout his career here and they also acquire more cap room because Brady being the classy gentleman he is agreed to a paycut.  This is sort of a bittersweet moment for me and I'm sure for many Pats fans.  Its basically the beginning of the end of the Tom Brady era.  Once this deal is up, its over.  No ifs ands or buts about it.  It makes me wanna just sit here and think of how amazing this ride with Brady has been since 2001.  But I'll save all of that nostalgia and emotion for a different.day.  A day that I dread more than my next Dentist appointment.


A+ Blog.

What are Pink Hats Gonna Do When Ellsbury Leaves Next Year?

Anybody with any sort of understanding of baseball knows that Jacoby Ellsbury is llikely to never patrol center field at Fenway Park again after this season.  He's a Scott Boras client playing in the final year of his contract, which means that he's going to put up great numbers and probably have another MVP caliber season.  Don't believe me?  Just check the track records of Boras clients in their contract years.  But what I'm relally interested in finding out is seeing what player the Pink Hats call their own.

Let me clarify my definition of a Pink Hat.  A Pink Hat can be both male or female.  A Pink Hat attends Red Sox games as if they are social events rather than a competetive sporting event.  Pink Hats stand up and sing along to Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" and have no shame about it.  Pink Hats leave early to avoid big crowds and traffic.  But most of all, Pink Hats love one player...Jacoby Ellsbury.

He's got the Tom Werner sexiness stamp of approval (something Dustin Pedroia does not have), he hits home runs, and he makes incredible web gems in center field.  Those three attributes alone make the Pink Hats salivate. But when he's gone, who's gonna take his place?  I've compiled a list of potential candidates:

Xander Bogaerts

Will Middlebrooks

Jackie Bradley Jr.

So there you have it.  Top 3 potential candidates to win the hearts of all the Pink Hats.  They have the looks and talent to satisfy both Tom Werner's requirements and the Pink Hats requirements.  Jackie Bradley Jr. will likely be Ellsbury's direct replacement in center field.  Middlebrooks has proven he's got the talent to perform well in the bigs, however injury and a disaster of a season made him fly under the Pink Hat radar.  Xander Bogaerts could be the face of the franchise.  Thats how good I think he'll be.

Now lets all sing a shitty song and cherish Ellsbury's final year as a Red Sox.

Celtics Add Jordan Crawford At Deadline...Essentially Stand Pat.

Thank god!  The trade deadline has come and gone and we can finally stop listening to all of these nonsensical trade rumors surrounding the Celtics.  Now, they didn't completely stand pat, adding Jordan Crawford from Washington in exchange for injured guard Leandro Barbosa.  I had previously said that I didn't think the Celts needed a blockbuster deal and rather needed a guard to replace Barbosa and a serviceable big man.  Crawford should fit the bill as the Barbosa replacement.  He is 24 years old and is a decent scorer.  Virtually a younger Barbosa who doesn't quite shoot the three ball as well.

On the other hand, I'm just a little disappointed Ainge wasn't able to make a move for somebody who can come in and protect the paint and grab some rebounds.  It's something that the Celtics are going to really need in the playoffs especially without Jared Sullinger.

Looking forward, I think the Celts are basically hoping the team can pull off a miracle run in the playoffs.  The success of this years team hasn't made much sense, so who's to say the finish won't make much sense either?  That being said, the Celtics still don't have much tradeable assets for next season, and there is a strong chance both Pierce and Garnett call it a career after this season and have their souls ascend up into the rafters.  I'm hoping Danny Ainge has a definitive vision for the future of this team.  If he doesn't, we could see ourselves back in the lottery.

UPDATE: Jason Collins is also being sent to Washington as part of the Crawford deal.  Not a big loss at all for the C's, but expect Ainge to claim a big or 2 off waivers.

Alfonzo Dennard Fights Law...Law Wins.

LINCOLN, Neb. -- New England Patriots cornerback Alfonzo Dennard was convicted Wednesday of assaulting a police officer in Lincoln, Neb., last year.

A jury found Dennard guilty of the felony charge and a misdemeanor count of resisting arrest but acquitted the former Nebraska standout of third-degree assault against another man, Lancaster County attorney Joe Kelly said.

Dennard faces up to five years in prison for the officer assault and up to a year for resisting arrest, Kelly said. His sentencing hearing is April 11.

Great day to be a Pats fan.  Seriously, people like Alfonzo Dennard are the types of guys you want playing on your defense.  I mean its clear that this guy doesn't back down from anything.  I totally understand Dennard's actions, too.  Oh, you're threatening to arrest me for fighting a guy?  Not without me punchasizing your face, homie.  The best part is that Dennard was offered probation and community service but he turned it down to bring the case to trial.  Love it.  Dude has balls of steel.  Just never backing down.  And lets be serious, there's no way he's gonna get any prison time.  Hell, the all time greats such as OJ Simpson and Ray Lewis killed people and nothing happened to them.  Even Brandon Meriweather stabbed a guy or some shit and it was only talked about for a couple days before people stopped pretending to care.  Athletes get away with it all.

This all goes to show how tremendously gifted Belichick is at drafting defensive backs.  Meriweather, Chung, Ras-I Dowling, Alfonzo Dennard, Darius Butler, Johnathan Wilhite, and Terrence Wheatley.

Studs. 

Patriots Draft Options: Tavon Austin

Just for shits and gigs lets say the Pats let Welker walk.  Lets also say the Percy Harvin rumors fizzle out and they never end up pursuing him.  If so, the Pats are gonna have a hole to fill in the slot reciever position.  Julian Edelman has showed he can do it, but he's also shown how fragile his body is.  I'm not so sure Belichick would be comfortable completely handing Edelman the torch.  That being said, Tavon Austin is a prototypical slot reciever.  He stands at 5'9 175 and has a tremendous deal of talent.  The West Virginia star finished the season with 114 catches, nealy 1300 yards, and 12 touchdowns.  Those stats not doing much for ya?  How about the fact that he is WVU's all time kickoff yardage returner, kickoff TD returner, receptions leader, and recieving yards leader.  Not bad, huh?  Widely considered the most "athletic" person to ever play at West Virginia, Todd McShay has even deemed him the quickest player he's ever studied on tape.  If Austin were 3 inches taller and 20 lb's heavier, he'd be a top 10 draft pick for sure.  If the Pats have an opporrtunity to take him they will.  Because small guys like Woodhead, Welker, and Edelman have answered the most imprtant question in any  man's life....No, size does not matter.

What's Your All Time Dunk Contest Lineup?

The dunk contest is upon us once again.  Unfortunately the "superstars" are participating less and less in the event.  No Dwight Howard. No Lebron. No Blake Griffin.  Last year's winner was Jeremy Evans and he'll look to defend the title this year.  So with the dunk contest now being just slightly more exciting than the Pro Bowl, I'm left to put together fake dunk contests in my head.

1. Michael Jordan: No need to explain this pick. Best player of all time. The man could do it all.

2. Vince Carter: Vince Carter may not be a Hall of Famer, but he's my favorite dunker of all time.  Dude threw down monster jams.

3. Dominique Wilkins: Wilkins is arguably one of the best players all time.  Him and Jordan both were electrifying.  It would be a sin to leave this guy off the list.

4. Dr. J Julius Erving: Dr J was an innovator and revolutionized the art of dunking. Nuff said.

5. Lebron James: Listen, I hate Lebron as much as the next guy and always will. I think he's a supreme douche.  That being said, he is also a physical specimen who can do whatever he pleases on a basketball court.  He would put on quite a show in a dunk contest. Too bad he's a pussy.

There it is.  My top 5 dunk contest lineup.  And yes, I left out Blake Griffin and Dwight Howard.  Jumping over a car doesn't impress me.  I enjoy the simple things in life.

I Don't Get The Harlem Shake

Just when I was starting to get the hang of Gangnam Style the Harlem Shake comes in and fucks my shit up. I can't keep up with all these viral dance movements.  But what really chaps my ass is how the Harlem Shake is just pure chaos.  As far as I can tell its basically just a sloppy Bernie.  The Bernie is probably the best dance move of all time and is definately my go to move during mating season, but the Harlem Shake is really screwing things up for me.  Am I getting too old?  Should I be taking certain drugs to really appreciate and understand the Harlem Shake?  Every video I see just has some dude wearing a helmet to start things off, then once the drop comes everybody is just gyrating their bodies however the hell they want.  No coordination.  No flare.  No style.  I can't and won't respect it.  Now cue the music and let the ladies swoon!

Breaking News: Lucchino Says Sellout Streak Will End Sometime in April...Even Though It Ended Long Ago

Larry Lucchino is public enemy number one in the Boston sports scene.  John Henry is obviously number two with Jeremy Jacobs coming in a close third.  But Larry is extraordinarily easy to hate.  I've always lived by one simple rule.  And that rule is "if anyone tries to sell me a brick for hundreds of dollars, then hate that person."  Larry Lucchino is the brickseller.  It's high comedy for him to come in and say that the sellout streak is going to probably end in April.  Newsflash Larry, everybody with any common sense knows that the sellout streak was a crock of shit by last May.  The product on the field was garbage and the players were unlikeable and the fans did the right thing by not supporting the Fenway ownership group.  I guess we should be happy that he's atleast admitting that it's over, but why couldn't he have admitted it last year while the team was a laughing stock?  The whole sellout streak shtick was just one embarrassment in an array of embarrassing moves by ownership.

With all that said, this is a do or die season for the Red Sox owners.  If it's another shitty season then the team is going to be sold.  They won't be able to survive one more PR hit.  As much as I'd love to see them sell the team I don't want to watch another terrible year of baseball.  Best case scenario is the team plays well enough to increase the club's value, therefore letting Henry sell the team for more money.  Either way, the main goal is to never have to deal with Larry Lucchino again.  He stands for everything that was wrong with the team last year.

Season is still early, folks.  Give Larry some time and he'll come up with a plan to scam all of us.

Gronk Set To Be Oscars Red Carpet Correspondant

ESPN Boston- On the field, there's very little that Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski isn't capable of doing. As it turns out, he's open to trying some new off-field ventures as well. The 23-year-old tight end will serve as the Oscars Red Carpet correspondent for the "Rich Eisen Podcast" on NFL.com

Get excited New England, because we all now have a reason to watch the Oscars.  I wouldn't be surprised if this years Red Carpet show is the highest rated in Oscar history.  You know what they say...sex sells, violence sells, and drugs sells, but Rob Gronkowski has become #4 on that list.  What I'm so intrigued about is what exactly Gronk is going to be doing.  What is he just gonna interview actors and actresses?  My guess is they just have him try to hookup with every nominated lead and supporting actresses.  "And the Oscar goes too...Anne Hathaway for Les Miserables.....Unfortunately Anne will not be accepting this award tonight as she's currently being Gronk smashed."  Also, I'm setting the over/under on how many times he spikes an Oscar into the ground at 2.5.  I really can't explain how great this is gonna be.  If your not watching the Oscars this year then you're not living life the correct way.

Just a side note but I'd say its pretty much mandatory that Gronk be shirtless throughout this whole thing.

#NoHomo